Have you ever noticed that the universe provides you with the same experience over and over again? Do you ever have moments where you feel like you are dating/in a relationship with someone who is similar that the person you just broke up with, and maybe the one before, and maybe who is like your dad or mom?
Before we are incarnated into this life, we sit down and make choices of what lessons we want to learn during this
lifetime and until we learn them the universe will keep providing us with opportunities to learn our lessons. You will literally be given the same situation over and over again until you learn how to deal with it differently. Find a new tool to add to our toolbox of skills.
Let me give you two examples that might help you understand what I am saying better.
I have always been a girl who loves to live without drama in her life, but for a long time I just kept having to deal with drama mostly with other girls, one relationship after another. The typical response (looking back I can of course see what I would do over and over again). I would get upset with someone because they didn’t meet my expectations (I am not sure I even expressed to them what my expectations were!!) and I would speak my truth or try and set boundaries (people don’t like it when we do this!!). Then in return they would get defensive and say mean things. I would
reach out to 3 people.. my husband and 2 best friends to get vindicated and to see if they thought I was being an ass. A few of these experiences and then the girl and I would no longer be friends. Rinse, wash and repeat – it would happen again.
HMMM… Finally! I became aware of this pattern one day. I was presented with an email from a girl friend and I watched myself start my pattern. BUT something different happened this time. I had been practicing Ho’ponopono, it is the act of saying “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” So I started practicing it and don’t you know things shifted for me. I began to understand and feel love and compassion for my friend who could not let this go, wasn’t I too doing the same thing by reaching out to my 3 people to complain. I also then felt a great sense of love and gratitude that I had these wonderful people in my life to reach out to. I then just felt so grateful for the entire experience and all the experiences that brought this drama in my life so I could learn this lesson and move forward. I sat and cried with so much love and joy! BUT, the universe doesn’t stop there, she makes sure you really get the lesson – so of course one more! AND don’t you know this person apologized via email. Funny the coincidence I was reading the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and he had the same experience emails and all!
Another great example would be with my love life. I have dated and married very similar personalities to my father. They kept finding me and I kept seeking approval from them. I also didn’t know how to stand up for myself or set healthy boundaries. After getting my divorce I found one of my teachers and she helped me learn to fall in love with myself and truly love ME! Again, the person that had to change was me. Now I am able to have a healthy loving relationship with my husband. BUT I had to change myself in order to have this. I also had to love myself in order to find him! Otherwise guess what? The pattern would repeat itself.
The beautiful thing about these patterns is once you work through them it not only helps you, but it helps the other person who is connected to this pattern. You see we seek out each other to play out these lessons – in yogi terms it is called our Lila. <3
These lessons were very simple – yet profound. I have learned that I cannot create expectations and not share them and get upset with others when they are not met, I need to set healthy boundaries with others and I cannot seek approval from other people – I must find that within myself.
What patterns have you found happening in your life? What are some of the great lessons you are seeking in this lifetime?